When I was growing up I was as close to my father as he would let me be. I was daddy's little girl, He would take time to play with me when he was on his vacation. Taught me to throw a baseball. I know when he wanted moments of peace he would take me with him. One of the moments that stands out most for me is fishing with him in Davidson Bay and the setting moon as our background. We would listen to rolling water and he would tell me stories. This was the closet he had let any. So when I think of him I see this memory frozen in time. Repeated many times in my dreams. I still long for a chance to say to him all the things I never had a chance to say. I wonder would he like the person I became. I am so different then him. I see things so differently then he did. I know he would never understand my need to reach out to strangers to help them find peace of heart. Maybe I am wrong and he is looking down from heaven and saying well done daughter.
After my father passed away I felt something was missing from me, part of my heart. I never thought I would ever get it back. But never doesn't always last. One day I was on line in a support group doing what I could to be there for others who were going through what I had. I saw a someone come into the room whose name I had heard before. This was the first time I had met the man who I was to call Poppy later on. I don't trust easily and I trusted him in a heart beat. I saw him come in and thought yes I know him. Each day that I spent talking to Poppy I felt that part of my heart that was missing coming back. My heart is whole again.
I see things in Poppy that are similar to my Dad. But as I come to know Poppy more I see him for who he is and love him for who he is. So many lessons he has taught us about caring and understanding. But not only has this he given me the courage to do things I never thought I would never be able to do. Just being able to b put my thoughts into words like this is new for me. We make pages of memories for those who have lost loved ones, to help them find peace. I also find that each one I make brings healing to us too. He taught us also not to be afraid to stand up and fight for what we believe in. To treasure the wildlife around us and to protect them for the future generations to come. He is a man of honor and always keeps his word when given. Many have felt their lives enriched because of Poppy's caring heart. He is forever and one day more the Father of My heart. He is the one who I first said "I love you" to with out fear of it not being returned.
Through my meeting of Poppy I have made special friends who I hold dear to my heart. So with my special family of the Wolf I can face each day with faith in love.
I have been so blessed to have two special men in my life that are my fathers each so different but having a special place in my heart always and forever.
January 14, 2006.